i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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