Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
