this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
