Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
