after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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