I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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