She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
