i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
