8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
