im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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