brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
