Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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