If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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