Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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