Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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