He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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