I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
she looked like the before picture.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
