how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just gift wrapped bread.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
