i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
