Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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