how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
