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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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