In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
