Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
