Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
