was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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