Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
