you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
