that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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