worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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