Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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