oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
