Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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