So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
