So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
