it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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