I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
