just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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