The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
