I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
