I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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