They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
