i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
