And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
