I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I need to align my fucking chakras
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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