so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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