even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
