shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
