I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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