At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
