You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
