woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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