you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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